Don’t Let Negative People Kill Your Vibe (4 Easy Steps!)

It’s pretty easy to stay positive and upbeat when you are around happy, kind people.  But what should you do when you’re in the company of someone who makes you want to put a fork in your eye? How do you keep them from killing your vibe? Here are four easy steps you can use to avoid and deflect negative energy from the people around you.

Step 1: Keep contact limited.  If you have someone in your life who belittles you, complains a lot, or just generally has the ability to bring an entire room full of people into misery, stay away as much as possible! 

It’s true that some of these people may be relatives or neighbors and it may be challenging to keep them at arm’s length.  However, there are still ways to cut down on your exposure.  

For example, you can excuse yourself to use the restroom, tell them you’ve got to go and hang up the phone, or keep meetings to having coffee or quick dinners rather than long extended day visits and vacations.  Just because you have to interact with them doesn’t mean you have to interact all the time!

Step 2: Kill them with kindness. As soon as you come into contact with one of these people, smile warmly and find something that you can immediately compliment.  Maybe they have on nice new shoes, or maybe they just got a hair cut.  Give them a quick compliment and a smile straight out of the gate.  This disarms them a little, as it’s very hard to be negative and rude when the people around you are treating you so kindly.

Step 3: Navigate around negative discussions.  Refuse to take a trip down bad memory lane.  As soon as a negative person starts to get into the latest drama or horrible thing that happened to them, switch up the conversation (“Oh look! A text message from Bob!”).  Do not be a sounding board for sadness, anger and depression.  There is literally no way that you can engage in conversations like these and uplift others or yourself, so don’t even bother trying.

Step 4: Engage them in positive discussions.  If you must talk to a negative person, find things to talk about that are uplifting, funny or interesting.  You could talk about how your son just learned how to walk, the beautiful gift your boyfriend just got you or anything that went well that day.  Don’t be surprised if initially they don’t want to talk at length about all of the good things going on in your life, but set the tone that when they talk to you, they should anticipate positive conversations!  

Whatever you do, please don’t let negative people kill your vibe. It might be a challenge to completely eliminate all of the negative people from your life, but there are a few things you can do to keep yourself from getting sucked into their drama.  Keep contact limited, kill them with kindness, avoid negative discussions and engage in positive discussions.

These steps will help keep your energy upbeat and discourage the negative nellies from coming around in the first place.  Misery wants misery as company, not sunshine and rainbows! Stay in the light.

Looking for more information?

I post daily articles on the power of positive thinking. See more on my blog and follow my Facebook page!

My name is Andrea Schulman. I am a former high school psychology teacher & the creator of ‘Raise Your Vibration Today.’ I teach people how to become masters of their minds through the Law of Attraction. Check out the full-length video tutorials on my membership portal and learn how to create a beautiful life with intention. XO


  1. I.P. Freeley says:

    Killing rude people with kindness is just plain fucking stupid.

  2. Thanks for sharing your thoughts I.P. 🙂

  3. Leah says:

    Haha, I see what you did there. 🙂

  4. Anonymous says:

    What if the person is a parent? Specifically your mother who you live with? It’s pretty difficult to limit exposure:( and it seems that killing her with kindness makes her even madder!

  5. Hi Anonymous! Yes, I see what you are saying for sure. It’s hard to think positively about someone you feel closely tied to, who has proven to you time and again that she will be negative in your presence!

    My suggestion is to start SMALL. Perhaps limit phone conversations from thirty minutes down to fifteen, or visit once a week instead of twice. The less you can give your attention to the negativity, the less prevalent the negativity will be in your life.

    It may also be a good idea to practice self-love. Ramp up feelings of appreciation and love of yourself little by little. The more we love ourselves, the harder it is for people around us to treat us in any other of a way than loving.

    The bottom line here is that the Law of Attraction will add momentum to whatever our focus is. It may take a little time to turn this around, but know that the less you focus on your mom’s negativity, the more it will die down. The more you focus on loving yourself, the more you will be treated with loved. Start small, and let the momentum build over time. You will have evidence that things are turning around for you, just give it the time and attention it needs.

    XO, Andrea

  6. Anonymous says:

    It was great good on you ☺

  7. Thank you Anonymous! XO

  8. Nonyobizznesslol says:

    Yeah…. have to admit it can be a challegen but one that is worth it? No. The fact being that YOU… are the one who is always.. all– ways! Worth it. not them.. You. 🙂 So not letting them control the way things go for you .. is not for them.. It is for you. Not even standing up but letting it go and moving on with things.. Just .. if they say like for example oh hi oh I hate that color on you hahahaha… 🙂 aww thanks. Next time I’ll remember not to wear it .. 🙂 just for YOU 😀 yeah.. okay? 🙂 lol

    hahaha. Ahh kindness 🙂 I love you.

    Or the brush off.. Oh oaky 😀 uh huh.. It’s good to see you too. 🙂 keep smiling. lol

    Ahhh… there are just so many good ways to accept things around you and not the people.

    Or there is the good ol’ You can ignore them kindness 🙂 mmhmm.. Like You say after they have said insert bad thing here “Oh look at your shirt or shoes.. etc oh that waterfall .. ooooo :o” lol.

    Like I said it is the easy way to go that route were you retort back .. 🙂 just smile and be thankful for what you have.

  9. These are all excellent suggestions Nonyobizznesslol. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. XO, Andrea

  10. Claudia Miller says:

    This reminds me of the hilarious skit on SNL with “Debbie Downer”. It always made me laugh out loud and I love to laugh! 🙂

  11. lol that’s funny Claudia- thanks for sharing the fun! 🙂

  12. Vidya says:

    This is all ok for same day..What if their curse works next day?

  13. Not sure I understand the question Vidya (?)

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