How to Attract Positive Relationships (& Drop the Negative Ones, Too!)

How to Attract Positive Relationships (& Drop the Negative Ones, Too!)

Do you know how to attract positive relationships into your life, or do you often feel surrounded and overwhelmed by negativity?

One thing I have heard from lots of people who are interested in the Law of Attraction is that they often struggle with the negative people in their lives.  When you want to live a more positive life, it can be especially frustrating to be surrounded by people who constantly complain, or who are rude or judgmental. 

I too had this experience for a long time, and I still deal with negative people from time to time.  However, I have found a few ways to improve the quality of the energy of the people who surround me.  With a little bit of tweaking, I’ve found myself surrounded by more positive folks, and the negative people in my life have either stepped back a bit or they have become more positive when I am around them.

If you would like to attract more positive people into your life, or if you would like for the negative people to make themselves scarce, here are a few things I recommend:

Focus on the good in people:

Particularly when you find yourself angry or upset with someone, take a deep breath, and then take a moment to reach for the best feeling thoughts you can find for them. 

For example, perhaps I absolutely loathe my brother-in-law’s unkind comments and constant complaining.  So, in an effort to attract more positive energy from my brother-in-law, I can take some time to list out his redeeming qualities.  Through he might say rude things and be selfish, he might also be a good athlete and have a funny laugh.   Maybe he always helps clean up the dishes when he comes over for dinner or he plays with my kids.  

Now, this doesn’t mean that I have to compliment him or be “fake” as some might think.  All I really have to do is offer a few intentional thoughts about his finer qualities.  That’s it.  Of course, a compliment won’t hurt, but it certainly isn’t necessary-especially if it feels uncomfortable to give one.

By choosing to focus my thoughts on the good in my brother-in-law, I will simultaneously be reducing my focus on his negative traits, and therefore I will be less of a vibrational match to the negative aspects of his personality.

I’ll admit, with some people this approach will be a stretch at first, and might seem pretty counterintuitive.  Luckily, though, as we start looking for the good in people, the more good the Law of Attraction will reveal to us about them.

Always remember, when we focus on the good in people, the people around us will be more inclined to show us their best.  We all shine a little brighter when the people around us notice our redeeming qualities.

Avoid complaining about the negativity: 

Sometimes it is really frustrating to be around someone who is very negative, I get it-trust me!   

Unfortunately, though, when we complain about the negativity we ourselves dip into a more negative state of mind.  Once this happens, we become an even greater magnet for more negative people to walk through the door.

So, as it turns out, your mom was right:  If you don’t have anything nice to say, just keep quiet!  The negativity in others will never be remedied through complaining about it.  In fact, it only makes things worse!

 For more, read  “20 Common Complaints That Lower Your Vibration.”

Strive to be a person you’d want to have a relationship with: 

Though some people believe that with the Law of Attraction you get what you want, in actuality with the Law of Attraction you get what you are. Because of this, the more we project kindness, compassion and generosity, the more of those traits will be expressed in the people around us. 

Therefore, instead of waiting for positive people to come to us, we can become the people we want to meet, and then more of these kinds of people will walk into our lives.  Sure, we may have our bad days and it’s ok if we aren’t “perfect,” but a little extra effort to be positive can go a long way, so it’s always worth a shot to be more loving, generous and tolerant!

Replace your mantras about people in general:

Once we come to expect negativity from people in general, it becomes inevitable that we will continue to experience negativity from others.  You can tell that someone expects negativity when they say things like “people suck,”  “you can’t trust anyone,” “everyone’s just out for themselves,” or “it’s a dog-eat-dog world.”

Replacing our negative mantras about people can have an awesome effect on not only our relationships, but also in our encounters with strangers on the street. Instead of generalizing the bad in people, replace these mantras with statements like “we’re all just doing the best that we can,” “there’s good in everyone,” or “there have been lots of people who have been kind and helpful to me.”  Then, when you find yourself feeling a little frustrated with the people around you, remind yourself of these new mantras.

When we default on positive (rather than negative) expectations of people we find that most of the people we interact with are decent human beings.  Changing our mantras about people is an easy thing any of us can do to improve our relationship with humanity.

Attracting positive people and relationships into your life can be a fairly simple process.  Simply focus in the good in the people around you, avoid complaining about the negative people, replace your mantras and strive to become the person you would like to have a relationship with.  This approach is highly effective and will have a profound effect on the quality of your social life.

Best Wishes Always,


Do you want to master the Law of Attraction?

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My name is Andrea Schulman. I am a former high school psychology teacher & the creator of ‘Raise Your Vibration Today.’ I teach people how to become masters of their minds through the Law of Attraction. Check out the full-length video tutorials on my membership portal and learn how to create a beautiful life with intention. XO


  1. Kathy Joyce says:

    I enjoyed reading this article. I agree, everyone has good qualities, no matter how frustrating and negative they seem. Focusing on the positive raises your vibration and and starts to detract them. positive people are always drawn to other positive folk as their energy radiates.

  2. Very true Kathy! Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂 🙂 -Andrea

  3. steve says:

    law of attraction is a spin.It is metaphysical and not spiritual like eckhart tolle etc.most of the article was absolute monsense.

  4. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Steve. All the best to you.

  5. Alexandre says:

    Hi Andrea, this article comes in a right moment for me. I have been suffering for 10 years due to a toxic relationship. I have a very difficult wife, she is always complaining and judging everybody, including myself. She is very rude and never apologies for her mistakes. At the moment it is very hard to removing myself from the relationship, because we have a lovely daughter who I love so much. I have depression very frequent, and I don’t feel pleasure in life anymore. I am always thinking on the negative aspects, which I must say it is very bad. I will try to apply the rules you have written. I hope one day I could find a true peaceful relationship. Best regards.

  6. Thanks for sharing your story Alexandre! I hope you find these suggestions useful in creating more harmony in your relationship. Happy New Year to you and your family <3 -Andrea

  7. joan says:

    Hi Andrea, Thank you, your info has come at right moment and reminded me to change how im dealing with my son who im seeing today. Have a good day. Blessings to you. Joan

  8. Hi Joan! It’s funny how things fall into our lap at the right time, isn’t it? Best wishes to you and your son 🙂 -Andrea

  9. Julian says:

    Thank you☺

  10. You’re welcome Julian- thanks for the comment! XO

  11. NV says:

    This article is absolutely 10 out of 10 for me. Changed my perspective completely on how to observe good qualities in everyone.
    Andrea, as always you shine like a diamond.

  12. Aww, thank you NV. You are so sweet 🙂 <3

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