Love Vibes was written by Jennifer Cleveland
With all the love in the air this month it’s got me thinking a lot about my own “Love life”, how far I’ve come since my divorce and wanting to get crystal clear on what I would like to align with in the future.
The last couple of years as a single woman have been both painful and passionately expansive. After being in a committed
relationship for over a decade (pre social media and cell phones) stepping into a world of texting and Internet dating has been quite the practice of patients.
I’m not too proud to admit I too have found myself on dating apps “searching for love”, I’ve settled for casual hook ups when commitment is what I truly desired, I don’t regret my experiences as they’ve helped me learn to protect my magic, sharpened my intuition, strengthened my ability to let go lovingly when necessary and connect with potential lovers outside of my tiny circle. In time falling deeply in love and forgiveness with myself along the way.
During my reflection time I’m happy to say I’m proud of the character I’ve shown after my divorce… keeping my children and domestic goddess duties my main priority, building a career that allows me to sustain the minimalist beach lifestyle I’ve created for us here in our little condo by the sea, choosing to react with kindness and work towards solutions when things have gotten ugly… ultimately growing the friendship my x and I share today, and most importantly for putting in the work to heal my own heart.
Today I find myself beyond grateful for who I am and all that I have but can’t help but feel as if I’m missing out on finding true love. I have been doing a lot of research on how to attract my “soul mate” and have discovered some ways I’ve allowed my energy to become scattered. Are you making these mistakes in attracting true love into your life!?…
1.) Are you living your life over looking for love?
Early on in all of my singleness all I could think about was filling the void of an intimate partner. I used every spot on my calendar to go on dates or out with friends to avoid being alone. I felt isolated, feared I couldn’t financially survive without a partner and was projecting my broken heart on everyone that came into my path.
With these low-level vibes I was negatively affecting whom I was attracting into my life. The shift happened for me during an
Abraham Hicks talk on soul mates, she pointed out that we are always aligning with what “we are ready for”…I definitely wasn’t ready for the love of my life to show up at the low vibrational state I was in, some major realigning needed to be done.
These days I haven’t found the” love of my life” but I’m committed to my happiness and life couldn’t feel more full! No need to feel lonely when you become a witness to all the love that already exist in your life, I have two beautiful children who inspire me to be greater daily, a wonderful group of friends who make me feel supported and sprinkle their magic into my world and amazing clients in my work life who make my financial freedom possible.
Stay open to aligning with love but stop searching for it; focus on being your best you and creating your best life. Relax and enjoy this time while you’re single knowing in the fullness of time the Universe is sending you a perfect vibrational match!!
Where can you shift your focus and become a witness to the love that already exists in your life!?
2.) Do you have a terminalistic mindset?
In this new “dating” world where we choose partners by our top five profile pictures and a short bio it’s hard not to judge by what we see. Personally I’m guilty of making early (usually negative) conclusions when swiping through dating apps and interacting on dates with potential “matches.”
Knowing better than to have expectations I’ve imposed mine on how I believed relationships should evolve and evaluated them by my ridiculous standards leading to more failed attempts at dating than I would like to admit. I was so connected to the outcome of the relationship that I immediately closed off any connections that didn’t match exactly what I wanted.
The shift happened for me after rereading a Gabrielle Bernstein post on “Trusting the Universe has our back” and was quickly reminded to chill out on all the expectations! I haven’t lowered my standard to settle for “hang outs” or “hook ups” but instead place emphasis on building connections organically.
A course in miracles teaches us “Though you are clear about what you want, you can not control the timing or the form in which it comes.”
Where can you let go of expectations, celebrate the positive qualities that exist and focus on what’s going right in your partnerships!?
3.) Do you have space in your life for a lover?
I pride myself on my minimalist lifestyle and have worked hard to create a comfortable space for the boys and I here in our little condo by the sea. But had I left space for a lover to exist in the new life I was creating??
After evaluating my own home (and feeling I was on top of my Feng Shui game ha-ha) I was shocked to discover it was not a very welcoming environment for an intimate partner and all my hard work had left no room in my schedule to explore new relationships!
This was a huge awakening for me and I immediately started to find ways to rearrange both my environment and schedule to create space for a partner.
Fast-forward to today and the bed is accessible from either side, there’s empty space in the closet, an extra coffee cup in the kitchen and I’ve started taking an extra day off from work during the week. What ways can you alter your environment and schedule to create space in your life for a lover!?
Happy Valentine’s Day,
About Jennifer Cleveland: As a licensed stylist and wellness enthusiast of over a decade I’ve always had a passion for being physically active and exposing the light in others.
In 2010 I was chosen to attend the Michael Coles Step Up summit where my spirit was awoken to chase my dreams of becoming an educator and motivator! My successful career in the salon industry has lent itself to my most recent journey of earning a college degree; this fall I will graduate with an Associates of Arts degree from EFSC and have been accepted into my bachelors program at the University of Central Florida.
I have kept my deep love for movement alive over the years; In 2013 I was a performer for international DJ Chan Ji Kim in Sound and Space and more recently as a yoga guide at both Peace Place Counseling & Wellness and the Yoga Surf School.
These days when I’m not playing on my mat or balancing my duties as a domestic goddess I can be found in my back yard garden, and chasing the Florida sun.