My Foolish Attempts at Control
“My Foolish Attempts at Control” was written by guest contributor, Babajide Faseyi.
Throughout my life, I’ve tried to control my life. I’ve tried to control who my friends would be, I’ve tried to control the career I would end up in. I’ve tried to control so many things about my life.
Even in this moment now, I still see myself trying to control my life. I’m trying to control the next thing I should write. I’m trying to control how you should feel as you read this and at some point. I even thought I could control the basketball game I was watching last night.
But if I were to keep a score of every time I’ve tried to control my life, and I saw the results on a piece of paper, I don’t think I would have even the slightest interest in controlling my life anymore. Because I would see that life just doesn’t work that way.
But I haven’t yet kept a true score. I only look in my memory from time to time and I see what worked and what didn’t. I haven’t yet seen on a piece of paper written down: 9 out of the last 10 times you’ve tried to control your life, 9 times your attempts at control have not worked.
To read more of Babajide’s poetic essays, click here.
And while I haven’t yet kept a true score, I can still see the outcomes of my attempts at control. I can still see that life doesn’t work by my forceful attempts at control.
The truth is, I wouldn’t like for life to work that way. Till this day, I can see that the best things that happened to me were the things that came into the flow of my life without my own conscious control.
Blessings, Babjide
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About the Author: My name is Babajide Faseyi. I was born and raised in Nigeria and then moved to the United States for college at the age of 19. In my 20’s, I became acutely aware that there was more to life than I had been taught and this led me to a deep search. I read voraciously. After a period of disillusionment with not having an outlet for the creativity that I felt within myself, I encountered Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now. And thus, the journey of knowing who I truly am and the discovery of what I have to offer creatively began. The links to my facebook pages where my writings are posted are –facebook.com/bababajide and facebook.com/babajideinc.
4 Comments
NV
Hi Andrea,
How do we stop controlling or detaching from the outcome energetically? Like, after letting go the situation physically, we must also let go energetically so the miracles or solutions can occur. How do we do that?
NV
continuation from above ” letting go fears (energetically) about controlling the outcome?
Andrea Schulman
Hi NV
Usually it helps to remember that if we want something that isn’t coming to us there is a likelihood that our desire is actually tethered to a limiting belief. So, let’s say I want my ex to fall back in love with me and he isn’t and it’s making me sad or upset. If I find myself drawn to this scenario I am actually holding a limitation that is keeping me interested in someone who doesn’t want me.
When we are aligned, we move towards dreams that inspire us and make us feel good. If it doesn’t feel good, there’s a limitation that’s keeping us wanting something that isn’t necessarily what want.
For example, maybe what you REALLY want is an inspiring career, but you feel like you can’t let go of a particular job path that isn’t working out. Maybe what you REALLY want is a loving relationship, but you feel like you can’t let go of wanting people who aren’t really capable of providing real love. Maybe what you REALLY want is abundance, but you find yourself stuck on wanting to attract money through the lottery and it isn’t coming to pass.
Ask yourself- what is my fear if this never come to pass? If you can identify and transform the fear (be it a fear for your safety, a fear of rejection a fear of inadequacy, idk) you will be able to remove the fear component, which is really the only reason you feel yourself holding on too tight.
XO
NV
Thank you. Going to brainstorm on this over the weekend.