There Is No Right Way to Be

This has been an interesting time in our world’s history. Lately, I see more and more people speaking their minds and fighting to have their perspectives heard.

While I applaud humanity’s willingness to speak and be heard, I often hear a common limiting belief resonating in these messages. This limiting belief sounds something like this:

“There is one RIGHT way to be, and we should all behave the right way.”

It seems to me that the vast majorities of our arguments and debates center around this limitation. We fight about many different things, but at the root of these fights is this same underlying message of required moral conformity.

For example…

Are you pro-life?

Well, the right way to be is to allow women to manage their own bodies!

Are you pro-choice?

Well, the right way to be is to allow a fetus to grow and live!

Are you pro-guns?

Well, the right way to be is against violence!

Are you anti-guns?

Well, the right way is to be is to allow people the ability to protect themselves!

It seems all arguments are this way. Both sides have valid points, we often just feel called to argue the side that seems more important by our own perspective.

But consider this: perhaps there is no right way to be.

After all, we are all unique. We are all born into different families, in different spots of the world. We all look different, grow up with different values and experience different struggles and triumphs.

We all see the world differently, therefore we all have different (yet valid) perspectives.

Perhaps, instead of fighting over the “right way to be,” our efforts might be better spent another way. Perhaps, instead of condemning others for their differences, we could try to acknowledge that each one of us knows how to navigate our own life better than anyone else.

Staying neutral gives you room to grow

Since adopting this perspective, I’ve found it’s become much easier for me to stay objective when someone voices his or her opinion to me. Instead of responding with a knee-jerk reaction, I now listen. I now try to understand.

I see when someone has a different opinion than me, it’s not because he or she is wrong. Rather, it’s because he or she has lived a different life than me. If anything, he or she has something to teach me.

Another person’s differences allow me an ability to grow in my understanding and in my acceptance of all aspects of humanity.

At the end of the day, I believe we are all doing the best we know how to do. We all want to be happy, healthy and prosperous. Sometimes this means we make choices to promote our growth, and other times it means we act to alleviate our suffering. Regardless, we always act with what we believe is in our own best interests.

Live and let live because there is no right way to be. The only right way to be is the way that’s right for you.

XO, Andrea

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  • Jennifer
    Posted January 25, 2017 3:47 pm 0Likes

    This is very useful in view of the current political discussion and reporting in the media. I completely agree to respect other points of view as they enrich our mind and show us aspects we have not been thinking about so far.
    However, I feel very challenged when these dicussions just allow one opinion and end in slandering or even worse in violence. Even though I do not live in the States, it is nearly impossible to escape the confrontation . My question therefore is how to deal better with this situation or better said: how to accept people and institutions that do not accept other points of view? As it is always claimed that freedom of speech and opinion is the basis of a democracy I just wonder why it hardly works out in practice and how to deal with this “contradiction”. Sorry if I sound too negative but what can I do to keep my vibration as high as I can?

  • Andrea Schulman
    Posted January 25, 2017 4:42 pm 0Likes

    Excellent questions Jennifer:)

    I would say at the end of the day how we feel about things is how they become shaped to be. If we feel fearful or worried about a person or an institution infringing on our freedom, we will have the experience of feeling controlled and victimized. If we feel hopeful or optimistic about a person or an institution, we will have the experience of feeling free of control and victimization.

    So if we find ourselves fearful of a person or an institution, one of the best things we can do is look for reasons to be optimistic, and look for possible positive outcomes. The change happens first internally with you or me, before it is reflected in our realities.

    This flies in the face of conventional wisdom, I know. However, it has been my observation and my experience that when we resist what we don’t want, we bring it into existence. When we assume a positive outcome, we align with it.

    I would also like to say that we are the creators of our own realities. There is no person or institution that can control you or I without us first giving our consent to being controlled by believing that we can be. You are infinitely powerful, and there is no other person more powerful than you in your own life. Believe in your power to be as free as you want to be, and you will live that freedom every day of your life.

    And, if all else fails, just turn off the news until the noise dies down. If what’s going on bothers you, avoid feeding it your attention. This will make it easier to stay positive.

    Thanks for your comment! <3

  • Jennifer
    Posted January 26, 2017 3:36 pm 0Likes

    Thank you for your support Andrea
    Fortunately, I think positive about the future and believe that all these outcomes we have witnessed from 2015 come from a desire of the people to change the world for the better and to overcome the limits in our minds. Very interesting that while I am writing this, the radio “answered”: I feel it coming 😀
    I love synchronicity and now I am listening to “hallelujah i am free”. Great, right?

    Stay positive

  • Andrea Schulman
    Posted January 27, 2017 2:55 pm 0Likes

    I love that sign you got there-fantastic! And I would agree with you wholeheartedly on all of these outcomes reflecting a desire for freedom from limitation. Well said!

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