Have You Forgotten That Happiness Is its Own Reward? 

I think the idea that “happiness is it’s own reward” is an idea we all can agree with.  After all, it feels good to be happy! There’s nothing better than a moment of bliss, be it through laughter, excitement or love.

However, although happiness IS its own reward, we often forget this fact every single day.

I’ve worked with a lot of people as a Law of Attraction coach and when asked “what do you want out of life?” invariably, they mention happiness. Everyone wants to be happy.

Even further, when asked “are you able to find your way to happiness every day?” Most tell me yes, they are able to be happy at least a little bit every single day.

Most people I know and I’ve worked with smile and laugh at least a few times a day.  They find their way to happiness regularly, regardless of their station in life.

So, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that most of us want to be happy, and most of us have the ability to find our way to happiness. Granted, there are those going through especially hard times, but for the general population, happiness is a part of the daily routine.

It makes you wonder, what’s the problem then?!

Why are so many people dissatisfied with their lives? If we are able to find our way to happiness, and happiness is it’s own reward, why isn’t that good enough? After all, we are meeting our ultimate goal on a daily basis!

Why isn’t happiness good enough?

Although we have the ability to be happy daily, many people hold themselves away from a lot of potential happiness.

This is because many people believe they can only “really” be happy if certain conditions are met.  So even though happiness peeks in daily, instead of reveling in it and enjoying it, many people shut it down by reminding themselves of the things they don’t have.

Honestly, this isn’t surprising.  We’ve all been trained to believe we need more.

Between our family upbringings, our education and our advertising we are bombarded with a message that screams: “You need to do ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVXYZ… if you want to have have a good life!”  We hear this message thousands of times each day, and for most, it sinks in deep at a very early age.

For this reason, many people live out their entire lives believing they can’t be truly happy. Many people genuinely believe that in order to have a happy life, they must first meet certain criteria.

The criteria for happiness

Here is the criteria I most often hear about:

1. “I need a certain amount of money to create a happy life, because the things I want to do that will make me happy cost money.”
2. “I need a relationship to create a happy life, because being in love will make me happy.”
3. “I need a fulfilling career to make me happy, because I need to do something every day that makes me feel happy.”

There are countless other conditions, of course, but these are usually the big three I hear about.

If you look at these three criteria, you’ll see something interesting.  The only reason why we want any of these three things is because we think these things will make us happy.

In fact, these criteria only have any value at all because we believe they will make us happy.  If money was incapable of making you happy, you wouldn’t want it.  If a romantic partner was certain to make you feel dissatisfied, you’d stick to being single.

These factors are only desirable because we hope they’ll bring us happiness. Without the happiness, they’re total garbage.

Wanting things to make you happy

Ok, so that’s all well and good.  We want things that can make us happy. What’s wrong with that? 

Absolutely nothing, on the surface. 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting things that have the ability to inspire greater happiness within you. We’re all in the pursuit of happiness, after all, and that’s what this game is all about.

However, there’s a HUGE difference between wanting something to enhance your happiness, and choosing not to be happy until you have something you think will make you happy.

There are so many people out there who are unhappy on a regular basis because they don’t have things they think they need to be happy.  They are upset because they are single or in a crummy relationship.  They are sad because they live paycheck-to-paycheck. They’re pissed off at work every day because they’re doing something less than their ultimate dream.

So many people forget about the end goal-happiness.  They get so totally focused on achieving things that they think will make them happy, that they completely forget they have the capacity to be happy now.

Then, because people choose not to enjoy the happiness they have now, they find themselves unable to attract scenarios that bring them greater happiness.  After all, the Law of Attraction always brings back to us conditions that reinforce how we feel about the life we have. If we feel like crap about our lives, our lives will continue to reflect back to us reasons to feel like crap.

The never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction

If you’re in the habit of being unhappy until the conditions are right, you’ll experience Groundhog’s Day everywhere you go.  You may find that you can attract a new job, but it feels just as dreadful as the last.  You may find a new relationship, but it’s just as dysfunctional as the previous one.  You may attract more money, but you feel just as empty as before.

In the end, these criteria are just things. They are things that can make you happy or unhappy.  A job, money or a relationship does not inherently make you happy.  It’s only your perspective about your job, money or relationship that has the power to make you happy or unhappy.

Choose to be dissatisfied in life, and you’ll stay on the wheel of unhappiness forever, no matter where you are or where you go.

Remember the most important thing

This is the ultimate trick to the Law of Attraction, and it’s one so many people neglect to fully embrace: You have to be happy with what you have now in order to be happy with what you have later.

Remember, your happiness is its own reward.  It doesn’t matter if your happiness comes from a promotion, a lottery win, a hug or even just a rainbow. Happiness is happiness and it always feels good, regardless of where it comes from. 

Please remember that you have the ability to be happy now.  Don’t let the things you don’t have be your reason for not being happy when you have the capacity to be happy where you are. This kind of logic is completely lunacy.

Navigate your life seeking happiness wherever it comes from.  Be grateful for all forms of it.  Be thankful for your ability to smile and laugh exactly where you are. 

Let go of the illusion of “perfection”

Things aren’t ever going to be perfect, because that’s not what life’s about.  Life is about experience, movement and evolution.  It isn’t about creating a static environment where everything is perfectly in place and nothing ever moves. Change is really the only constant.

So you haven’t won the lottery yet. So what? You still have the ability to have your happiness, which is the only thing that matters to you in the end anyway.

So Mr. Right is dating someone else. Who cares? You still have the ability to have your happiness, which is the only thing that matters to you in the end anyway.

So your job is crap.  Does it matter? You still have the ability to have your happiness, which is the only thing that matters to you in the end anyway.

Perspective makes all the difference

Life’s all about perspective, folks. You can find happiness anywhere. 

This is why people who live in huts and shacks in the third world still smile and laugh.  It’s why people who have suffered immense tragedy and misfortune often blossom into some of the nicest, kindest and happiest people  you know.

Your goal in life is happiness, not jobs, money and relationships. Sure, people and things have the ability to enhance your happiness, yes, but they aren’t a guarantee.  You are the guarantor of your happiness, not any outside circumstance. Those things you’re chasing after aren’t going to do a damn bit of difference for you if you feel you need them to be happy.

So the next time you find yourself worried or stressed about something that hasn’t happened yet for you, step back and get some perspective.  Your happiness is its own reward, and you have the ability to be happy wherever you stand.

Go after your dreams, but don’t make them a condition for your happiness. Remember their place in the equation. Your happiness is what you’re really reaching for. The condition is just a vehicle for your happiness, and you’ve got a lot of cars in the garage already.

Be happy only for the sake of the manifestations, and you’ll find millions of reasons to be miserable. Be happy for the sake of being happy, and you’ll find happiness in everything you do and everything you have. This is how you create a happy life.

XO, Andrea

(Law of Attraction coach & educator)

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Image Source: Goodbye Beach! by thephotographymuse.