Are You Playing the “My Life Is Harder Than Yours” Game?
I’ve been banging around on this planet for 36 years now, and over time I’ve noticed that as humans we often like to play the “my life is harder than yours” game.’
You know the one.
It’s the game of complaining to your friends how busy you are, how much work you’ve got to do or how crappy your boss is. It’s the game of one-upping anyone who shares a story of a challenging child, parent, friend or neighbor.
Additionally, it’s also the game of bemoaning your past. Reliving abuse, mistreatment, and problems in your childhood, and using them to excuse your struggles in your current life.
Give it up now.
If you’re playing the “my life is harder than yours” game, today I implore you to give it up. Call it quits. Let someone else win. After all, this is a game with no winners anyway.
Why? Because this game will keep you stuck in victim mode for your entire life if you let it. The more you stick to the script of your terrible, horrible life the longer you will continue to have a terrible, horrible life.
So your parents abused you as a child. Why let it continue to wreck havoc in your adult life? Why not let it be your reason for having the best adulthood ever?
So your girlfriend cheated on you. Why let her actions prevent you from finding a better girlfriend who is worthy of your love? Why not let it be the reason why you raise your standards and expect better for yourself?
So you suffered through a horrible death in the family three years ago. Why dishonor that person’s death by allowing it to keep you from being your best self? Why not honor that person’s contribution to your life by becoming something greater than you were before you lost him or her?
We get to choose how to respond to adversity.
Sorry if this is harsh, but it needs to be said. EVERYONE has mountains to climb in life. Some bigger than others, but we all have hurdles we are attempting to clear.
We all experience adversity, and this isn’t inherently a bad thing! Adversity can beat us down, but it can also lift us up if we allow it.
There are plenty of people out there who grew up poor, or sick, or in foster care, who made something of amazing of themselves. In fact, I’d go so far to say that those with the biggest hurdles in life actually have the best advantage to become something great.
Related Video: Rich People Don’t Complain.
Why? Because the biggest struggles provide the greatest incentives to reach for something higher. Hanging around in a really dark place can be a tremendous motivator to climb into the light as far as you possibly can. Experiencing the worst of the worst is the best possible reason to start running forward to claim something better for yourself.
Climb up out of the dark.
Just remember that getting out of your dark place has NOTHING to do with bitching and moaning about it. You can’t climb out of the hole if you just park your butt in there to chit chat with others about how bad it is. Instead, you’ve got to get up and choose a better life for yourself through your words, your actions and your intentions.
Let go of the need to tell the same old story of woe over and over and over again. It doesn’t matter if everyone else is playing the “my life is harder than yours” game. It’s a losing game for all who choose to play it.
Stay positive. Give yourself some time to grieve your pain or deal with the stress, but don’t live there forever. Put your struggles in the past and let them be your reason for moving forward, not hanging back.
(Law of Attraction coach & educator)
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I used to play this game for a very long time. What surprised me more was that these problems didn’t seem to disappear and even new ones came in addition. The turning point eventually came when people gave me the advice not to get stuck in the victim mentality. Thenceforward I knew that I had to change something and started to look out for the blessings in my life. It is absolutely correct that everybody has to fight a battle and I think life would be pretty boring if everything was fine, right? To put it in a nutshell, life is great and say it 🙂
I’m right there with ya Jennifer…I used to be the “victim queen!” LOL! Amazing how much better life is without that game, isn’t it?
Well said. We need to stop being being victims and start taking more responsibility to make amazing lives.
Thank you for this reminder Andrea,as always you inspire me ! 🙂 I use to,and still feels at times,that life is easier for some people cause of there abilities,that some are born under a more “lucky star”,are more adaptible to life,more talented,more brave etc and that this might be an personality trait from birth,or perhaps genetical. Maybe im wrong,but someone struggling to “keep up” due to “less talented” will probably struggle more in life,even if they are sending out positive vibrations and for these people it might be an insult to hear its “only” to think positive and to “choose” to became better…what if its not geneticaly possible …? What is your thoughts about this?
Thanks Kristina! I agree that it is true that some people are born with some advantages over others…I guess my point is that our struggle is where a tremendous capacity for growth is. As long as we see our “disadvantage” as a weakness, rather than as a potential strength, we remain victimized by the weakness.
All growth stems from struggle. Those who live on easy street don’t have as much of a reason to reach higher…in that way, a disadvantage is indeed a real advantage.
For example, let’s say that you have been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Suddenly, you have a tremendous motivation to find your healing. Not everyone does, of course, by some people tap into an inner strength to believe in their ability to get better-and they find it. They also may become motivated to eat much healthier, and take care of their bodies in a way that far supersedes someone in “good health.” In this way, they reach higher than someone in good health would have reached.
Just food for thought! XO
Thanks for your positive feedback Anonymous! XO
Amazing article… Oh its so in us to grieve over things and sort of why all this to us and more… I truly get it what you wish to say here..its more of a vicious circle that keeps hitting back..instead we need to brush it aside and move to a better place..(i’m sure in the moment we always get caught which leads to story telling of what happened and the woes there on..) It’s us who invite it all over us every time i feel..if we are going through something why voice out and let the whole world know about it and grieve…instead we just stay silent and see how we can divert ourselves which would further help us in finding a solution…I always believe like you’ve said “the GOD/Universe everybody are there to help us and lead a good life that we wish to have”..so i’ll carry on with this intuition.
Thank you for the article!!
Thank you for your kind words Rashmie-so glad you liked this article. Hope you are having a great week:)
Good article Andrea, it’s hard to listen to people stuck in victimhood and know what to say and when I think back to many of the things I’ve talked about, I cringe at my own victimhood. What advice would you give, what would you do when listening to others go on and on in their stories?
Good question Colleen! Well, I’ve noticed that people who like to play the victim really aren’t at all interested in hearing any other viewpoints, so it isn’t really worth it to try to explain your perspective. The easiest route is to either politely change the topic of conversation or excuse yourself from the discussion:)
You’re right! Just ummm hmmm and change the topic. Give them no pity to add to it.
Exactly! 🙂 No momentum added <3
I agree with the positivity angle but you obviously have never really been in the struggle! If you had you would know how hard it is to be around people who had a standard level of living compared to us ‘have nots’ who grew up poor, abused and living with constant fear of violence or death. I made it out but i was lucky.
Your assumptions about my beginnings in life are incorrect Anonymous <3