Forget the “Peanut Gallery!”

Are your dreams truly your dreams? Do the goals and aspirations you are working towards truly reflect your inner wanting?

I ask because lately I’ve become more and more aware of the role of the “peanut gallery” in much of our decision making. Sometimes I wonder if some of the things I want are really what I want.

The truth is, there are so many things we want because we think we should want them.  Most of us aspire to achieve a marriage, a family, a home and a successful career.  Often, we also dream of being thinner, stronger, wealthier and more attractive.

Why do so many of us want the same things?

I think it’s fairly obvious that often we want these things because we believe we have to have them in order to fit in, impress our parents or be worthy of social approval. 

Some of us worry that if we come up short on this list we’ll become targets for criticism, rejection or pity.  Some of us believe if we achieve these things other people will look up to us and admire us.

Now this isn’t to say that these are bad dreams to have, or that there’s anything wrong with having these dreams.  In fact, I have some of them myself and I do believe that some of these goals have made my life more fulfilling and satisfying.

However, I think it’s important for us to be aware of why we really want the things we want. After all, we are each unique and different, so it just doesn’t make sense that most of us would want the same things!

When we want something from a pure and inspired place, it’s often fairly easy to achieve and we enjoy the ride.  Like a child playing his favorite game or sport, when we are doing things we enjoy, they are fun and inspired activities.  Achieving the goal is fun and adds more zest into life and puts us into a blissful creative flow.

However, when we want something because we are concerned about the reaction we are going to get from others about it, we taint our desire.  Instead of playing life for the fun of it, we play it for the gold stars, the marks on the chart and the pats on the back.

We go after goals and dreams not because they make our heart sing, but because we want to prove something to the peanut gallery.

I’ve found that when I am working toward something and worried about what other people think, the dreams just don’t turn out the way I’d like them to. Instead of having fun and enjoying the process, I find myself looking over my shoulder to see who’s watching.  It’s a much less satisfying journey.

This can happen in several ways.

For example, when we are worried about what other people think we might find that we just can’t lose the weight because we are crippled by critical fear.  Or perhaps we are able to find our way to the successful career, but it doesn’t bring us any joy.  Maybe our desire to impress people with money keeps us entrenched in debt or it keeps us from enjoying our wealth.

When we are in pursuit of goals with the primary concern of pleasing or impressing others, we don’t set ourselves up for true success.  Instead of harnessing the power of our excitement and joy, we create our reality from a place of self-criticism and judgment.

Because of the Law of Attraction, the reality we create reflects the feelings and emotions we had during the creative process.  Realities created through criticism and judgment aren’t nearly as blissful as those created through joy and happiness.

So if there’s ever a dream that feels upsetting, I think it’s wise to ask ourselves: “is this really what I want?”

If you’ve been suffering from disappointment or find yourself worried about something you’ve been hoping to achieve, feel free to evaluate your dream to ensure it is truly your desire.

Spend more time on those dreams that make you feel like a little kid again, and abandon the need to impress others for social approval as often as you can. Sing your own song regardless of who’s listening or not.

You have tremendous power to create a beautiful life for yourself, but only if you’re willing to have fun and follow your own personal bliss. Dial down the volume on the peanut gallery and you’ll find it’s easier to follow the sound of your own true desire.

XO, Andrea

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