Would You Rather Be Happy or in Control?
By Jo Warwick, Guest Contributor
As I was driving along the narrow winding lane, enjoying my post-run muscles, I gazed absentmindedly at the lush green fields and trees rolling by it was the most beautiful autumn morning and I was feeling goooooood!
“What are they doing getting up in my face?”
I looked again into my rear mirror trying to see what this person problem was…
“What the F**k? — I’m on the wrong side of the road!!!!!”
After three months driving in France and Italy, I’d pulled automatically out onto the right side of the road, but now I was back in the UK and we drive on the left!
It was me, not them…
I laughed to myself and raised my hand in gratitude to the guy behind me,whilst feeling embarrassed, but within a second or so the seriousness of the situation hit home; a car appeared speeding towards me round the blind bend!
By getting what I thought was up in face, the driver had not only changed my silly mistake from being possibly a bigger one, but had diverted the course of my life!
ARE YOU BLAMING WHEN YOU SHOULD BE ACCEPTING?
I hadn’t liked his intrusion into my life and my first reaction was blame and irritation…
Sometimes though it’s necessary for the universe to shout at us — if we’re not paying attention!
That sense of someone being up in your business can really piss you off and the universe will keep sending situations and people to get in our face, our business and irritate us to make us take notice and above all take ACTION!
The Universe wants to give you what you truly need, but are you really willing to let it?
With every client there comes a moment of resistance when they ask for the truth of what is causing the blocks in their life, but they’re not ready to hear it ~ to receive and absorb the new information…
They don’t really want to stay with the old way of life, but they are afraid of finding out “what they thought was right — isn’t!”
Believing that difference or change is not just a simple mistake, but a sinful failure!
Once we’re enlightened with new information about our actions and choices, which are the cause of the current problem in our life ~ we then have a choice to take our power and act upon the change, which has already happened in our awareness.
The resistance to new information is a normal part of the growth process, but ignore the truth and not act on it and you’ll get stuck.
The universe will keep then sending you louder and louder messages…
WOULD YOU RATHER BE HAPPY OR RIGHT?
When its time for change the experience/situation you’re in begins to feel like trying to fit into clothing that’s too small ~ you might manage it, but it’ll become very uncomfortable very quickly!
Whilst on my travels last year I stayed in the lush forests of central France with only a handful of friendly French locals and a quiet life. I was hiding, resting and recharging and it was exactly what I needed.
Then the time came to either move or find out if I could stay longer ~I didn’t want to leave, but I chose to move, without exploring all my options. I wasn’t used to staying … the forest village was already the longest I had stayed anywhere, having constantly moved for the past two months
On paper I found a house and location that sounded great, a bit of bargain with good amenities, only a few hours east of where I was. I had been afraid I didn’t have a plan of where to go, so I booked it even though I felt unsure. .
As I was getting in my car and saying my goodbyes the owner mentioned
It’s such a shame you’re not staying for another week, the house is empty until next Saturday…
As I pulled away my heart sank!
Hours later I arrived at the new location, having been delayed by traffic to be greeted by a house and location which didn’t match the advertising!
Described to have beautiful views and sitting on the river bank with photos taken so that it looked like it was adjoined to the garden ~ what she forgot to mention was that the house sat in a built up area on a busy main road, which you had to cross to get anywhere including to the river bank.
I was then met by the owner with a brusque manner and back handed digs about me arriving late and making her wait!
“Oh no” my gut cried out… I’d already paid to stay a week!
She began to show me around the house with an endless list of rules and regulations which she expected me to remember, but hadn’t bothered to write them down herself!
I began to long for the freedom of the forest and inclusive warmth of the French villagers I’d left behind. My previous cottage was cosy with a little wear and tear that made it homely; I certainly didn’t have to worry about my dog and I making a mess.
After having shown me around the immaculate rooms, she asked out of nowhere for a security deposit of 400 Euros ~ this was twice the amount of the rental ~ just brushing off her surprising demand with “oh I forgot to tell you in advance!”
I was starting to feel blind-sided and very uneasy ~ I had made a terrible mistake?
DONT ENDURE AND SUFFER – TAKE ACTION
Unfortunately though I’ve spent a large amount of my life with a belief ‘I must make the best of a bad situation…( out of guilt and fear of mistakes)
This attitude has caused me a lot of harm and misery, however it is still a powerful belief which I have to consciously challenge; if I am aware.
So instead I became Pollyanna and brushed the nagging thought away…
Time passed and I found one or two things to think it’ll be fine ~ I’ve got the pool and the river is still there, it’s a big house, maybe I just don’t like it being different?
As my feeling of discomfort began to ease I settled to make dinner, only to be startled by the high screeching of a cat. I rushed out of the kitchen to be greeted by the owner’s cat; hackles up, teeth bared and spitting at my rather timid dog.
Only twenty minutes early I had been enjoying the pool and faith was curiously nosing around in the garden. Now we couldn’t get out, as the cat was barricading the French doors.
Understandably the cat was feeling protective of her very new kittens ~something else the owner had forgotten to mention, her only interest in how my dog would behave. Two hours later when the owner returned ~ now 10 o’clock I mentioned her cat’s behavior, only to be brushed off with “your dog will get used it!”
Just then Faith tentatively sniffed her way back outside, believing the cat had gone away; she was then suddenly chased, cornered and attacked…
A loud scuffle ensued as she tried to get away. The howl which came from her was heart wrenching. She dashed past us into the house, down the stairs and lay cowering by the front door.
If I hadn’t quite got the message that this was WRONG FOR US and if there was any doubt (and there was ~ amazingly) that to leave may be the wrong decision, the cat continued to hound me all night wailing outside the window.
The final straw to overcome my guilt fro making a mistake, changing my mind and standing up for what I want and need was the 7am wake-up call by the church bells next door every 20 minutes… [Something else that had not been mentioned in the advert!]
As I drove away I was instantly happy and once again relaxed…
Within three hours I was driving through the small winding forest roads back to my cosy cottage with the smell of pine and pure spring water to be welcomed by smiles, a little micky-taking and the invite to a BBQ that night with the promise of the best weather we’d in ages…
The Universe gives us life pointers for your right path and heart desires, they start off gentle and subtle and if we pay attention we can navigate smoothly through life.
If we ignore and doubt our instinctual awareness to them then they become nagging, irritating and a gradual build-up of increasing incidents trying to get your attention; a bit like your car slowing falling to pieces.
Which is how I came to go travelling alone for three months in How to Know When Change Is Long Overdue
Now I try to stay more aware and listen to the little nudges and signposts of love from the Universe and act on it without doubt or question…
When you accept the truth behind the nudge, signpost or universal wake up call, you can laugh off the mistake, do a bit of tidying up of any mess caused and get on with living your life ~ back on track with what’s right for you …feeling happy and peaceful!
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