5 Reasons Why Blame Makes People Completely Miserable

We live in a world where blame is a normal (and accepted!) part of society.  We watch reality shows where people fight over nonsense.  We listen to “talking head” news programs where pundits blame political parties and governments for the worlds’ problems.  We shame people who have done things we disagree with, and we point the finger at other people and circumstances for creating our own misfortunes.

Blame is a common trait because for many of us, it is an action we have been practicing for most of our lives.  It is familiar, and for many of us, it is something we’ve become quite comfortable with. 

However, blame is an action that can make a person completely miserable when it is used excessively.  Here’s why:

1. Blame is a lower vibrational action: 

While many of us may feel comfortable with blame, does it ever make us feel joyous or happy

We might feel justified in pointing the finger at someone else, but at the end of the day, blame is unable to truly uplift and inspire us because it is a lower vibrational action that generates lower vibrational feelings.

Think about it, the woman who is arguing with the cashier for messing up her order-is she in a positive frame of mind?  The guy who is honking his horn and giving another driver the finger-is he radiating high vibrational energy?

Even if the cashier was being completely rude, or the other driver was a total jerk, blame ultimately puts us in a negative state of mind.  It is an action that activates a lower vibrational frequency within us, regardless of who is at “fault.”

2. Blame hands our power directly over to whatever we are angry at: 

When we blame, what we are really saying to the universe is: “I don’t believe I have the power to create my reality. I believe other people and circumstances are responsible for the way my life is.” 

Then, guess what happens?  We manifest a reality to match the belief that we are powerless, making us feel truly powerless. We then become victims to other people choice’s and outside circumstances.

3. Blame causes the same issues to repeat themselves:

When we blame, we place our focus squarely on the problem.   Instead of enjoying the rest of our day, we get caught up in a two hour gripe session about something someone did that upset us.  Instead of appreciating our relationships with friends and relatives, we get hung up on all of the many ways they have done us wrong.

As a result, the Law of Attraction brings less joy into our lives, and instead we manifest more of whatever brought us down to begin with.   

4. Blame creates dependency on the ego:

We each move through this human experience as powerful spirits, but when we blame and point the finger, we limit ourselves because we allow our egos to do our decision-making for us.

Instead of operating from a place of love, compassion or acceptance, we operate from a place of fear, anger or judgement. Instead of tapping into our higher selves, we lean on the weaker, more vulnerable ego.  When used to excess, blame can cause person’s ego to dominate his or her thoughts and actions causing a whole host of inner turmoil.

5. Blame reinforces “black and white” thinking: 

“Right” and “wrong” are truly subjective terms that are different for each of us.  While there are some things that many people agree on, we are often divided on issues of right and wrong.

This is why people feel strongly on both sides of the fence when it comes to issues like abortion, gun control and welfare. 

Remember, the yin and yang: there is good in every bad, and bad in every good  (no matter how strongly we feel about the subject at hand!).

When we point the finger, we become entrenched in black and white thinking, and this prevents us from seeing the “good” within the “bad.” 

When we let go of blame, we allow ourselves to take a broader perspective.  We dissociate from the battle of “right” vs “wrong,” and this allows us to see the silver linings in every event we experience.  When we release blame, we uncover life’s hidden treasures.

For some more thoughts on releasing black and white thinking, check out this page on my website: “Give Up “Right” and “Wrong” to Master the Law of Attraction.”

So, at the end of the day, every time we choose to let go of blame, we enhance the quality of our lives.

Though it might be a challenge to give up the accusations, there are many benefits to choosing compassion, acceptance and love.  In avoiding blame, we resonate at a higher vibration and we we take our power back.  We  also create a more vibrant reality, allow our higher selves to shine through and transcend “black and white” thinking.

As a final note, I think it’s worth mentioning that blaming ourselves can cause just as much misery as blaming others (if not more!).  In order to access our true power we must show the same compassion, love and acceptance to ourselves as we would anyone else.   Blaming yourself for creating an unwanted reality is just as toxic as blaming someone else for it.

Yes, we are responsible for our realities. But this doesn’t mean we are “wrong” when things don’t go our way. Again, there is good in every bad, and when we accept our reality and love ourselves regardless of happens, we are truly powerful, and any road we have taken becomes the “right” road.

So, what are your thoughts on this subject?  Do you agree that chronic blame creates misery, or do you believe that blame is justifiable or necessary in life?  Comment below and share your thoughts with me.

Love Always,

Andrea 🙂

Looking for more ideas on how to improve our quality of life? 

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Image Source: Gabe Austin


  • Bobby
    Posted August 19, 2015 12:31 am 0Likes

    I LOVE this article! Truly — I never thought of it like this but I really dislike when
    I blame others or myself for something. Any further advice on not doing so?

  • Andrea Schulman
    Posted August 19, 2015 7:04 am 0Likes

    Hey Bobby!

    I think that for me it’s helped to notice how my thoughts are manifesting into reality. It’s become harder and harder for me to blame outside people and circumstances because I have become hyper aware of how my positive thoughts yield good outcomes and my negative thoughts spiral into disaster. So, I think that taking time to notice how we were thinking and feeling right before something good or bad happened can help to reduce outside blame.

    For blaming the self, it can be a little more complicated. If we are truly responsible for our realities, then it’s very natural for many of us to blame ourselves when bad things happen. For this, I think it’s important to realize that all roads are valid and can take us where we want to go. There is good that comes out of struggle and pain, and we always have the ability to redirect ourselves where we want to go. So it’s ok if we take a “detour” in a negative space, and there’s no need to blame because blame is a negative action that will only place us further away from where we want to go.

    Consequently, I will be adding a guided meditation on self-acceptance on the member site probably today or tomorrow. Check it out, it might help with reducing self-blame 🙂

    Thanks for all your wonderful comments,


  • Bobby
    Posted August 21, 2015 11:18 am 0Likes

    You are truly amazing thank you :***

  • Andrea Schulman
    Posted August 21, 2015 11:58 am 0Likes

    Thanks for all of the positive reinforcement Bobby…it really makes my day! Have a great weekend 🙂

  • Pammie
    Posted May 10, 2016 2:24 pm 0Likes

    Thank you for this article. A black and white world can lead to negative results. Blaming in any capacity can have long range effects. It ca become very habitual.

  • Andrea Schulman
    Posted May 10, 2016 3:26 pm 0Likes

    Thanks for your feedback Pammie! 🙂

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