By the Law of Attraction, your thoughts and beliefs create your reality, but sometimes it is hard to know what you are actually attracting moment-to-moment. One way to keep tabs on the thoughts you are attracting is by monitoring the language that you choose to use, particularly when you are dealing with people who are bothering you in some way.
A lot of the phrases that people use in our society focus on the unwanted. We tell children to “stop doing that!” and we tell our partners “I hate when you do that.” We tell our friends “I can’t stand when so-and-so does this,” and we tell our parents “that’s what you did wrong.” A lot of our focus in our speech is on the things that we don’t like, don’t appreciate and don’t want.
The problem with voicing the things that you don’t want is that it directs the Law of Attraction to bring you more of the things you don’t want. In focusing on the negative, you are attracting more of it to you. When you focus your language on what you don’t want, whomever you are talking to/about will actually be more inclined to continue doing the exact thing you just said you dislike!
When you think about it from the receiving end, it makes perfect sense. When someone yells at you and tells you do stop doing something, doesn’t it just make you want to do it more? It almost feels like a challenge! To get what you want from others, you must change your approach.
The good news is that focusing your language to get what you want is really easy to do. With a simple modification in your speech (used consistently), you can more receive more wanted behaviors from others through the Law of Attraction.
So, the next time you feel compelled to tell someone what you DON’T want or DON’T like, re-phrase it into what you DO want or DO like. Instead of yelling at your kids “stop jumping on the couch!” you now might say “please sit quietly on the couch.” Instead of telling your friends “I hate when so-and-so doesn’t pick up the check,” you could say “I really appreciate it when so-and-so pays for the meal.”
With this strategy, you are now redirecting the focus of the Law of Attraction from the unwanted behavior (couch-jumping or being a mooch), to the wanted behavior (sitting quietly on the couch or picking up the check).
I started using this strategy as a high school teacher and saw tremendous results. In telling my students what I wanted from them rather than complaining about what I didn’t like, I noticed immediately that more students were following directions, and were treating me with more respect. Classroom management was suddenly a breeze.
To be certain, at first you might find that this strategy feels a bit unnatural. You might note that you have a tendency to keep automatically stating what you don’t like simply out of habit. When this happens, remind yourself that it’s ok and that you’re learning, and just immediately speak a new phrase that focuses on the wanted.
You will probably be surprised with how many times a day you have an opportunity to practice this strategy. Use it with your friends, your spouse, your coworkers and your neighbors. Over time, you will find that focusing on what you want with your language becomes your go-to method of dealing with people, situations and events that are bothering you. Instead of creating more problems, you will be creating solutions.