Stay Cool When People Piss You Off: 4 Steps to Get Over It

If you’re like me, you want to stay cool, calm and collected, but sometimes that’s easier said than done!

The biggest thing that irritates me? Other people!  Like anyone else I get annoyed when people are rude to me, mess up my stuff or get in my way.  So how do you stay cool when people piss you off? 

Below are a few steps I often use to relax and get over it. As you move through these steps, keep in mind that the purpose here isn’t to make what the other person did ok, but rather it’s to get your energy moving in a more positive direction. 

Staying hung up on anger and annoyance will really ruin your day, so these steps will help you redirect your energy so you can get back to enjoying your life as quickly as possible!  

Step 1: Take a deep breath

Whenever we find ourselves in a state of irritation or anxiety, the best first step is to simply take a long, deep breath.

Deep breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which relaxes your body after a stressful incident. It’s a simple action that helps take things down a notch. Try it, it really works!

Step 2: Make an excuse for the offender

Usually when people offend us or make us angry we see red and immediately begin creating reasons for their behavior.  Usually these initial reasons are accusatory like “he’s trying to piss me off!” “he just wants to make me look bad!” or “she’s so jealous of me!”

Instead of letting negative thinking decide why this person has offended you, see if you can come up with a viable excuse for their behavior that makes it less offensive to you. Have your ego take a seat for a moment, and let your calmer self rationalize what happened.

For example:

“Perhaps she said that to me because she’s having a bad day” “maybe he really thought he was being helpful” or “Maybe he cut me off because he was distracted.”

After taking your deep breath, spend a moment simply entertaining the possibility that this person had no intention of irritating you, and instead there’s a valid reason for the offense that you can deal with.

This action will help you convert some of your rage into empathy, and this is a critical step in getting over our anger and irritation.

Step 3:  Remind yourself that there’s a silver lining somewhere

Bad things can happen for good reasons, and after you’ve done some deep breathing and made an excuse for the person who angered you, it’s wise to remind yourself of this.

Maybe the rude driver who slowed you down prevented you from getting a speeding ticket down the road. Maybe the nasty thing your friend said to you will inspire you to make a positive change in your life. Maybe the irritating coworker is giving you the motivation you need to look for your dream job. 

The truth is, there is a yin to every yang. So to stay cool, try not to get too hung up in what is going wrong, and remind yourself that something is inevitably going right!

Step 4: Move on

Once you’ve completed steps 1-3, it’s time to let things go. You’ve done what you’ve needed to do to diffuse the tension of the situation and redirect your energy to a more positive place, but hanging around thinking and talking about what happened will likely reactivate your irritation.

So instead of staying perched on the subject, distract yourself with some new topics to think and talk about. Start thinking about something positive that’s coming up soon in your life, or a funny memory from your past. Get back on the track to enjoying your day because you deserve to be happy!

I hope you find these steps useful in helping you calm down when someone offends or angers you. If you’ve got any more suggestions on how to get over it, comment below and share them with me!

Thanks for reading,


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  • Donna
    Posted September 2, 2018 1:48 pm 0Likes

    What to do when your aunt pisses off

  • Anonymous
    Posted December 21, 2018 11:08 am 0Likes

    Chase after her?

    Posted December 6, 2019 1:50 pm 0Likes


  • Anonymous
    Posted May 25, 2021 8:42 am 0Likes

    Well the first thing you shouldn’t do is tell them to just get over it that in and of itself is irritating

    perhaps you should choose a better phrase like four steps to get past someone angering you

    instead of just get over it 🙄 that’s how you sound look at the emoticon

    It is immediately is an irritating turn off

    you should change your headline

    Just a helpful word of advice from one of the people you are trying to help

  • Anonymous
    Posted May 25, 2021 8:49 am 0Likes

    You don’t have to post any of these comments I’m gonna help you out again everything sounded great until you said the law of attraction that made you sound like a fool it does not apply here if you’re talking about physics it does not apply look up the definition read it and you’ll see it does not apply you’re basically saying that because I’m small I’m drawn to big fat guys wrong! It is based on two factors the proximity of the bodies and their mass that’s all

    Good luck sounds like you’re trying to do good things boy does the world need that now

  • Glynis Williams
    Posted December 20, 2023 3:27 pm 0Likes

    It really hurt when its your Boo Thang and he calls your sister and myself by his wife’s first name and they have been divorced for 3 years. Just out of the clear blue sky. Highly hurtful.

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