When I learned about the Law of Attraction (or the idea that thoughts become things), I realized early on that gossip was something that was holding me back. I really wanted to break this habit because I noticed that by gossiping, I was focusing on the negative in people, and this was bringing me more negativity from the people I gossiped about. I realized that gossip was only amplifying the problems I had in my relationships.
That being said, I’m still a work in progress when it comes to gossip. Even with a great deal of improvement, I’ve found that I can still get involved in negative conversations from time to time, so I would assume that other people might be struggling to eliminate gossip as well!
Even though I’m not “perfect,” I have found a few strategies that have helped me greatly reduce my gossiping tendencies, and so I’d like to share them. If you have some more advice on how to stop gossiping, please comment below because I’d love to hear it!
How to Stop Gossiping
1. Realize that gossip really only hurts YOU:
The first step to stopping the gossip is in realizing that it makes your life worse. By gossiping about other people, we only make our own lives more dramatic.
Pointing out the flaws in other people is a way of giving attention to things we don’t like. By paying attention to the things we don’t like, we attract more of what we don’t like through the Law of Attraction. So regardless of how nasty or unkind someone has been, it’s best to resist the urge to spread the word about it, unless we want to experience more of the same unwanted behavior in the future.
Each time you feel the urge to gossip, remind yourself that it’s only going to make things worse. This simple reminder alone can significantly cut down gossiping tendencies.
2. Reach for appreciative thoughts:
For those people who we feel most compelled to gossip about, it’s a good idea to spend some time thinking about their redeeming qualities. Looking for what we like in others is a great way to reduce our negativity.
Each person you meet is multifaceted, and if you really do some searching you can find things you like about anyone. Maybe you have a lot of reasons to be mad or annoyed at this person, but you still like her taste in jewelry, you admire how she does a lot of volunteer work or maybe you like the sound of her voice. Find as many good qualities as you can, and whenever you feel the negativity building up remind yourself about them!
Look for the good in everyone, but especially those who annoy you the most. By searching for the positive, the negativity you feel will neutralize and you will be less compelled to spread gossip.
For more in-depth information on how to appreciate the people you don’t like, check out this article.
3. Stay away from gossip as much as possible:
The more people we hang around that frequently gossip, the more likely we are to gossip ourselves. When making new friends, be discerning, and select positive people to hang out with as much as possible.
For the people in your life who already tend to gossip, be mindful of when conversations become mean-spirited. You don’t have to stick around to hear the latest verbal smack down; you have the option to excuse yourself to head to the bathroom or step outside for a few minutes. The less you expose yourself to gossip, the less compelled you will be to engage in it.
Again, the Law of Attraction brings you what you are thinking about, so the less you can be around gossip, the less you will think about it, and the less it will show up in your life.
4. Do your part to make conversations more positive:
Inevitably, if you’ve had a gossiping habit, you probably know a number of people who like to gossip, and you will be exposed to gossip from time to time even as you begin to unwind from it. Sometimes it will be unavoidable. However, even if you can’t politely leave a gossip-fueled conversation, you can always steer it to a more positive place by pointing out some nice qualities about the gossip victim.
For example, let’s say that a few of your friends are gossiping about your mutual friend, Susan. When you feel the gossip start to ramp up, you could simply chime in with something positive like “you know, I really love Susan’s new haircut” or “last week Susan called to check up on me when I was sick and I thought that was so nice.”
Most people do not want to feel as if they are being mean-spirited. When you can demonstrate positivity in a negative conversation, those who are speaking negatively are more likely to drop the nasty comments because they can sense that their tone is on the harsh side. If you stay silent (or worse, chime in with more unkind comments), you give a sort of “social approval” to the gossip which makes it feel like the gossip is acceptable and warranted, and this just allows more negativity to breed.
As I said before, learning how to stop gossiping has been an ongoing process for me, so I figure that other people might also be looking for ideas on how to break the habit! These strategies have helped me greatly reduce my gossiping tendencies, so I’m sure they will be helpful to other people who are looking to drop the negativity as well.
If you have any other ideas on how to stop gossiping, please share them below in the comments!
Did you like these ideas on how to stop gossiping? Find more information on positive thinking on my blog or Facebook page! You can also find me on Twitter (@Vibration1111) or Instagram (@andrea.11.11).