Releasing Myself From Victim Mentality

In the sea of victims out there in the universe, I must say I was one of the most accomplished. You could say I had my PhD in victim mentality. I truly managed to let life’s circumstances become my reason for living in chaos and dysfunction.

Now growing up, I had a number of reasons to feel like I’d been dealt a bad hand of cards (as victims often do).

And the older I got, the more I really started to identify as a victim to this bad hand.

“If my life had been better, I wouldn’t be so unhappy!”

“If the people in my life had treated me better, I wouldn’t have such awful self-esteem!”

“Furthermore, if I hadn’t been taken advantage of, I wouldn’t have so many addictions, bulimia and borderline personality disorder!”

In my early adulthood, these statements rung true for me, 100%. Though, now, I realize these reasonings were 100% bullshit.

My downfall was 100% on me

No, it wasn’t the abuse that turned me into an addict. It wasn’t the unfair circumstances that gave me an eating disorder.

So, what led to all of my unhappiness then? What turned me into a chain-smoking, binge-drinking, opiate-addicted, relationship-destroying, rage-fueled hot mess?

It wasn’t my negative circumstances that led to all of my problems. No, it was one very critical choice I continued to make year after year: the choice to be the victim to those circumstances. 

See, there are those among us who are handed a truly raw deal, yet they turn out to be amazingly resilient. They turn their pain into beauty, and their unfair circumstances into their reasons to live a better life.

There are those among us who have it ridiculously worse than I ever did, yet they come into adulthood strong, happy and competent.

I, however, did not. But it wasn’t because of my circumstances, it was because of me.

Sure, I had reasons to feel like a victim, and I still do today. News flash here: we all do!

But I understand something now I didn’t understand then: when you decide you are a victim, you set yourself up to be victimized over, and over and over again thanks to the Law of Attraction.

The second we decide “this person has the power to control me” he or she does.

The moment we decide “what happened to me will forever prevent my happiness” we begin to live a life of pain and sadness.

Ultimately, it is our choice to identify as the victim that sets the tone for a lifetime of feeling victimized. Whatever we decide is true for us comes to be.

Don’t believe me? 

Look around.

The ones who are complaining about how bad they have it continue to get beat up by life, over and over and over again. Hard knocks and bad breaks abound for those who walk though life weighed down by victim mentality.

The evidence to my claim here is absolutely staggering if you honestly choose to examine it. Take inventory of the people you know in life and you’ll see it clearly-I promise you.

Letting go of victim mentality

Fortunately, victim mentality is something that CAN be turned around. Even better, it isn’t something that needs to take a long time.

It can be done in a split-second.

This happens the moment you decide to stop being a victim, and you decide to start making choices differently.

It happens the moment you decide that you will start making choices based on what’s best for YOU, regardless of what life may throw at you.

This is the moment you stop telling yourself you can’t have a good life because of something someone did 5, 10 or 50 years ago. It is the moment we stop blaming our current poor choices on other people and outside circumstances. 

Choosing to do right by you, no matter what

See, when you choose to release victim mentality, your life starts to change right away. You start making more self-empowering choices, and this has a positive effect on the quality of your life. Immediately.

The more you choose to do right by you no matter what, the better your life continues to get. Period.

I learned about the Law of Attraction and it’s role in victimization only 8 short years ago. But today I stand here in excellent physical, emotional and mental health.

I no longer run to the bathroom after a meal to purge. I no longer sneak around to find and use drugs. My days of binge-drinking, chain-smoking, gossiping and hating on people are behind me.

I understand fully that these choices I was making in the name of being a victim were my personal choices to abuse MYSELF. Nobody else was cramming fingers down my throat, or knocking back those shots for me. I was doing it all to MYSELF.

In other words, I was using what happened as an excuse to make my life worse, when I could be using what happened as an excuse to make my life better.

And releasing myself from victim mentality made it a lot easier to let go of these poor choices I was making.

The more I chose to do good by myself regardless of the circumstances, the less I needed to rely on self-medicating myself through drugs, alcohol, gossip, rage, and food. One by one, my addictions and self-abusive behaviors fell by the wayside.

Related Member Video: How to Create an Easier Life With the LOA (40 min)

Fast forward to today…

Today I just get to wake up and be happy as I am. Nothing else is needed. Just wake up and be happy.

And if deciding to transcend victimhood can make this kind of a change in my life, it blows my mind to think about what the world will become as more people choose to do the same.

Remember, no one has the power to think for us or make us believe we are victims.  Only we can choose to believe we are victims. And that’s a choice I’m just no longer willing to make.

Thanks for reading my thoughts on this topic. If you have any comments to share feel free to write them to me below.

XO, Andrea (Law of Attraction Educator)

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Photo Credit: “The Secret” by Eddie Van W. Some Rights Reserved.


  • Sharon
    Posted March 10, 2018 3:31 am 0Likes

    Agree. But what about when you have little control of a situation eg a boss is a bastard, I don’t suffer the thought that I have no choice cause I’m only an employee and need my job. But the alternative is I turn myself inside out emotionally and suffer headaches, stomach upsets and get so genuinely depressed. The other option is resigning. This type of situation is my Achilles in life. Having a choice but not really having one unless it’s dramatic last resort. Help! I’m really do stress myself to I’m sick. The emotions just don’t respond to thoughts.

  • Andrea Schulman
    Posted March 10, 2018 9:10 am 0Likes

    Hi Sharon! You may find this video helpful to your question on this topic. I hope you enjoy it:

  • Susan
    Posted March 12, 2018 2:50 pm 0Likes

    Andrea,Thank you! I’m 56 and the past several years I flopped back into the ‘poor me’ mentality and my life has reflected that.
    I really needed to hear this! It jolted me into a better place.

  • Andrea Schulman
    Posted March 12, 2018 8:03 pm 0Likes

    Thanks for the positive feedback Susan, and so glad it resonated <3

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