Why Talking About Our Problems Is Our Greatest Addiction

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit.  Talk about your joys.” -Rita Schiano

Today, we live in a culture where we are encouraged to talk about our problems.

We are expected to be shoulders to cry on.  We are expected to go to counseling to hash it out when our relationships are in turmoil.  We are expected to tell the stories of our life’s struggles in order to bond closer with friends, coworkers and acquaintances.

The problem with this expectation to talk about our problems is that it doesn’t help us at all. In reality, talking about our problems only hurts us more.

We live in a universe based on karma and the Law of Attraction, and therefore what we put out into the universe is what we receive back from it.  Sadly, talking about our problems only ever creates more problems for us.

Think about it, is there any evidence that venting about our problems has ever really solved them?  Has complaining about our cheap friends ever made them become generous? Has moaning about our mean bosses ever caused them to suddenly become kind and respectable people?

On a larger scale, have our national discussions on cancer, obesity and corruption in government ever made these issues go away? No, most certainly not.

Although giving up the addiction to talk about our problems is one of the very best things that we can do for the world, it can be quite challenging for many of us.  Even when we try to be more positive, it can be very hard to restrain ourselves from spreading the news when we get sick, lose our job or get into an argument with a friend or family member.

The reason this addiction is so great is two-fold.  On the one end, we receive validation from others in our moment of pain or frustration, and this energetic transfer can feel somewhat rewarding at a time when we desperately want to feel better.  Although we are setting ourselves up for more pain and frustration in the future, in the moment we feel important and valued when people listen to us talk about our problem.

The other reason that this addiction is so hard to break is because we do not want to be perceived as being cold or aloof.  When our friends and family want a listening ear, we don’t want to withhold sympathy from them.  So instead, we often allow ourselves to listen and contribute to long-winded, negative discussions in an effort to “be there” for the people we love.

Since our culture promotes the importance of discussing problems, to stop participating in this collective behavior will set us apart from the crowd.  Because of this, some of us may fear that others will disapprove of our refusal to engage in complaining and problem-centered conversations.  They might tell us that we are being irresponsible by ignoring the problems, or they may even question our sanity and intelligence.

Despite the challenges we will face if we choose to end our addictions, all of the problems in our lives and in the world will only get worse the longer we continue to play this game.  In order to have better lives and a better planet for everyone, we will need lots of optimistic leaders who are willing to give up this addiction and walk a higher path to show the others that it can be done, even in the face of disapproval or ridicule.

The good news is that even though it may at first be challenging to change the tone of our conversations, we don’t have to stop talking.  We can still be there for our family and friends, but we can choose to direct the conversations in a positive way.  We can still connect with others, but we can make these connections based on shared love rather than on shared pain.

Even better, as we make the choice to speak only of our joys, the Law of Attraction will create momentum for the others around us to do the same.

As a result of focusing our attention on the positive, our personal problems will begin to shrink and eventually disappear.  On a global scale, if the majority of us are focusing mostly on the positive, the world’s problems will also begin to resolve themselves.  Making the choice to speak only of the good is one tangible way that we can create a better world to leave to our children.

So, what do you think? Is it possible for people to stop talking about their problems? More importantly, do you think that you can change the world by making the choice to let go of negative conversation?

As a final note, and food for thought, it occurs to me that there is a bit of irony in this article.  Although the purpose of this blog is to spread positive energy, isn’t this article itself indeed a discussion of a problem?  Hmm…

It is a hard addiction to break indeed.

Thanks for reading,

Andrea

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Photo Credit: “Outtake…No!!! (overwhelmed)” by Andrés Þór. Some Rights Reserved.  This image has been cropped and resized.